Last night we held our second Appreciation Happy Hour in homage of our candidates, consultants, and clients at TASTE in Overland Park, KS. We had a great turnout! A big thanks to all those who attended – we look forward to seeing you all at our next event!
Whether you’re leaving your position on a good or bad note, if you’ve been respectful enough to give two weeks’ notice, you should be respectful enough to complete an exit interview.
Besides, you can use the opportunity to indicate any office issues, compliment your coworkers and continue building a bridge, or just plain burn any bridges you may have built with that employer.
Thanks to managementguru, we now present you with the 25 hilarious ways to answer those exit interview questions (though we don’t recommend following suit unless you really want to burn that bridge)
1. What is your primary reason for leaving?
I hate every job after 10 months. Leaving ensures that I always have a job that I will not hate for at least 10 months.
2. Did anything trigger your decision to leave?
Nope…completely spontaneous. I just woke up one day and BAM!
3. What was most satisfying about your job?
Sneaking out at 3pm.
4. What was least satisfying about your job?
Every Sunday evening when I started to think about having to come into work on Monday. It was the anticipation that killed me.
5. What would you change about your job?
I would be interested in making it better — all around. More pay, less responsibilities…that type of thing.
6. Did your job duties turn out to be as you expected?
I expect the worst and hope for the best. So, yes…yes it did.
7. Did you receive enough training to do your job effectively?
If being really good at avoiding sexual harassment and being diverse encompass everything that should make me effective at my job…yes. Yes I did.
8. Did you receive adequate support to do your job?
My chair could have been much more comfortable and you could purchase softer toilet paper. Charmin might be more expensive but Charmin reduces overall sick days…look it up. The extra expense is really an investment in the health of your employees.
9. Did you receive sufficient feedback about your performance between merit reviews?
I received ample amounts of feedback on how good I am at “commitment to company mission” and “ethical decision making”.
10. Were you satisfied with this company’s merit review process?
If mothers adopted your merit review process, children would die of starvation but cabinets and cupboards would be clean and organized. Not sure if that answers your question.
11. Did this company help you to fulfill your career goals?
If I actually had career goals I would have to assume that this job fell far short of fulfilling those non-existent goals. But I guess we’ll never know, will we?
12. Do you have any tips to help us find your replacement?
Oh, thanks…I’m blushing. As if you really need to replace me.
13. What would you improve to make our workplace better?
I would make almost everything optional. It’s good to have options.
14. Were you happy with your pay, benefits and other incentives?
Yes. I love health insurance premiums that rise faster than my pay. I like health insurance deductibles that break my bank, and I enjoy the fact that you stopped matching on 401k. Most of all, I enjoy the discount we can get from GM for employee pricing on new vehicles. How exclusive!
15. What was the quality of the supervision you received?
I had problems with the quality, but it was more of a quantity problem.
16. What could your immediate supervisor do to improve his or her management style?
It isn’t so much a question of how to improve. It’s a question of how and when to replace.
17. Based on your experience with us, what do you think it takes to succeed at this company?
From what I could see, and this is coming from someone who didn’t succeed, it is mostly about repeating what other people say, scheduling a lot of meetings, and being very social with people that you’d usually want to punch in the face.
18. Did any company policies or procedures (or any other obstacles) make your job more difficult?
1. The bathroom was way too far away from my cubicle. I had several photo finishes.
2. Your IT staff uninstalled my Google Earth program. I enjoy that particular piece of software.
3. The bureaucratic process of this company eventually destroyed my will to do anything productive. At first it was kind of awesome but then it got really boring.
19. Would you consider working again for this company in the future?
Probably, because as an external candidate I’m much more appealing to you and I will make more money.
20. Would you recommend working for this company to your family and friends?
I would recommend the company to family and friends if you gave me referral money.
21. How do you generally feel about this company?
General disgust.
22. What did you like most about this company?
It’s kind of like a casino that has a nice location on the strip. It’s not so much about the casino you’re in, it’s about the proximity to other good stuff. There are a lot of places to eat around here.
23. What did you like least about this company?
Everything else.
24. What does your new company offer that this company doesn’t?
First off, they have Kohler toilets which are far superior to the American Standard toilets you have here. Secondly, they offer a clean slate. They have absolutely no idea how ineffective I am as an employee.
25. Can this company do anything to encourage you to stay?
If you could erase everything you know about me, pay me more money, and shorten my hours, I might reconsider.
Spring is upon us and the fresh air may just inspire you to begin your job search. Before you start actively looking for your next position, you might take a peak into your wardrobe.
Dressing professionally for job interviews is extremely important – your appearance could make or break an interview. First impressions are key!
Before you meet with anyone affiliated with the company at which you will interview, be sure to follow the basic grooming methods. Remember Grooming 101 from your childhood?
According to Mien Magazine, the 4 pillars of good grooming are as follows:
Check out this classic video circa 1949 that demonstrates good grooming tips.
Still confused? Check out eHow.com’s “How to Dress for a Job Interview” for men and women.
The assassination of Osama bin Laden on Pakistani soil has of course been the topic of choice this week, and rightfully so, the world is curious to view footage of the event.
So far, we’ve seen President Obama’s speech confirming the death of bin Laden, U.S. citizens cheering in celebration and chanting “USA!” in the streets surrounding the White House and in New York City near Ground Zero, and video of the bloodied compound in Abbottabad where he lived with his family.
We as a nation have shared a hunger to view additional media depicting the dead body of Osama bin Laden to satisfy our need to believe he is truly dead. Without such evidence, some have said the campaign is merely an act, a publicity stunt 1) to allow people to believe in the end of terrorism as we know it and 2) to increase political backing for President Obama in the 2012 election race.
Spammers recognize this need to see more, and are posting false images to attract and satiate users. McAfee | blog central reports they “have seen variations of what I can only call ‘expected lures’:
Clicking on any of these false images or videos will direct the user to another site which downloads a small file that attempts to install itself into the system. In Facebook’s case, clicking on imposter media can spam your wall, your friends’ wall, and your Facebook messages with entries encouraging others to do the same thing.
McAfee warns: “Beware of any verbiage, subject lines in emails, or links via Facebook or Twitter that contain words like these–as they will almost certainly get you into trouble. Make sure your security software is fully updated and be sure to use safe browsing software as well.”
While some photos of bodies and unusual wreckage snapped in bin Laden compound have been publicized in mainstream media, the announcement came today in an interview with President Obama on 60 minutes that no footage of post-mortem Osama bin Laden will be released.
For more false Osama images, visit blogs.mcafee.com
Wednesday night we held an Appreciation Happy Hour for our candidates, consultants, and clients at the Marquee Lounge at the AMC in downtown Kansas City. It was a blast! Thanks to all of you who made it out, and we look forward to seeing you all at our next event!
For even more pictures, visit us on Facebook.
This afternoon as I skimmed Reddit for blog topic ideas, I came across an entry entitled,
“I can not be the only one who feels that we are going to experience some pretty crazy changes in our lifetime (As if we haven’t already…)?” The writer, feeling as if technology is about to explode beyond our wildest dreams, confronted his fellow Redditors with this day-dreamer question.
One responder mentioned he liked to play what he called “The Thirty Years Window,” a game in which the player picks a point in history, imagines someone at the age of 20 during that time, and thinks about all the technological advances that person would have seen for the next thirty years.
“For example, my father told me how when he was a kid, the sound of an airplane would cause adults to run outside and look skyward in hopes of seeing the amazing new flying machines they’d heard rumors of. He told me that story as we watched the live video of Apollo 11, the first manned landing on the moon.”
Well kids, welcome to the next technological advance of your lifetime. As The New York Times reports, our mobile phones will soon be standing in for all the plastic in our wallets.
But some are resisting this technological advance in what the New York Times refers to as a behind-the-scenes battle.
“Mobile phone carriers, banks, credit card issuers, payment networks and technology companies are all vying to control these wallets. But first, they need to sort out what role each will play and how each will get paid.
The stakes are enormous because small, hidden fees that are generated every time consumers swipe their cards add up to tens of billions of dollars annually in the United States alone.”
But such is the way of the revolution. The new technology is embraced while the old is abandoned, and the money previously invested in older technologies will go to building and supporting the new. Without it, we would never evolve, and where would that get us?
Happy Snow Day!
The winter season is upon us and if you haven’t already, soon you will most likely see the white fluffy stuff falling from the sky. In our case, last night we got the best stuff ever – sleet!
Today due to the ice build-up in certain areas of the Kansas City metro, our office is approximately half empty. Thankfully our office is set up so we are able to work from home if need be.
But that got me wondering… how many offices still haven’t enabled a system that allows employees to work from home? And in such a case, are those employees required to take a day of personal time or vacation time off, or is it basically like a snow day?
facebook murder
Late yesterday afternoon, Facebook ran into a pinch of trouble. Ok, maybe more than a pinch.
Accessing the site was nearly impossible for a reported 2.5 hours, with tiny windows of connectivity appearing and then disappearing as soon as you attempted to maneuver the site. The outage – Facebook’s worst in 4 years – was the result of a DNS failure.
Many people were upset, and took to Twitter to voice their opinions.
Tweets like “@geeksaresexy: Facebook is down, FACEBOOK IS DOWN!. #panic #facebookfail #facebook #endoftheworld #omg #fail” and
“@mikeydaroza: DNS FAILURE! #facebook is down, productivity in the work place rises. Recession is now over. Rejoice!” churned through Twitter boards for hours.
But were users upset about the failure because it kept them from working in one of their platforms (as was my case) or were they disturbed because they were unable to tend to their farms and comment on friends’ pictures?
Maybe a short break from Facebook is a good thing… just sayin.
We hear it every day – Go Green; reduce, reuse, recycle. We carry reusable grocery bags to reduce plastic bag waste. We recycle glass, paper, and plastic to use re-purpose in new products. We buy organic materials to minimize our carbon foot prints. But when is the last time you thought to turn off your computer?
This week we have an opportunity to do just that.
This Friday, August 27 is the third annual Power IT Down Day, an effort to save energy and encourage healthy energy habits. By powering down our computers for just one (work) day, we can take care of our planet and at the same time, donate to a great cause.
via http://www.executivegov.com
Last year, Power IT Down sponsors donated the savings to charity to the tune of $45,000. This year the savings will benefit Wounded Warrior Project.
Think about it – leaving your work computer and other peripherals on all weekend uses a lot of unnecessary energy. Turning them off for 60+ hours can help save tens of thousands of kilowatt hours. Do your part and help a great cause.
